Why hide myself here? Protected by judgmental thinking. Protected from myself.

I tend to scream out to the world what I am, only to be met by casual nods and silence.

Only to regret revealing myself. It's an impulse, a desire to connect with the world, a desire to be seen.

Just shut up, Melia. Just shut up.

EDIT: i have removed this story. decided to rewrite. :) sorry guys.

Dear Bloiary:

1. Cikgu Lim asked me how he can hyperlink his YouTube videos in his blog. :D Which means he thinks I'm good at these stuff. HAH! But I'm flattered all the same.

2. Suddenly found myself being a Gamemistress at my cousin Caiden's 9th birthday. He asked, how can I say no to birthday boy? Came up with a random scavenger hunt. Bad idea. Four lipstick prints equaled blodges of lipstick on the floor (sorry aunti Shirley for ruining your lipstick indirectly) and seven hair strands equaled kids screaming as they cut off each other's hair with scissors that appeared out of nowhere. Exasperated, I asked them why didn't they just pluck their hair out? They answered, all innocent: "But it hurts!"

3. Dad came back from Manilla. Boy, didn't know that Manilla was an alternate Labuan- Dad bought chocolate enough to keep me off the computer for ten minutes. :O Hershies, Bon-Bons, Nestle blah blah blah.

4. Decided that, if I ever get to direct and produce a movie, I'll choose the story Driftwood by Cassie Cassidy.

you like to scoff at the songs i sing,

look annoyed when i try to rhyme.

this is a song you will say is irritating.

meaningless words equal musical crimes.

well baby, the ice cubes in sweet coffee are melting fast.

hate me and pop a candy, and make it last.

all the bastards are waiting for

your verdict so don't ignore.

search your heart

set us free

from the chains of never-knowing holding me.

and i know that you wanna know, if i am the one.

i can see you looking at your friends with their sweethearts

and i know that you also wanna be, the lone wolf of the story.

but i'm begging you please, just try to see if it's me.

Well baby, spot the sheep in wolf's clothing.

Confusion stands firm on where we're standing.

Blow, wind, blow. Don't ignore.

Believe me, I had tried to hide, a thousand times.

Let us just try for this once in a lifetime.

Am

I don't love nobody

C

Don't know, don't care, about it

G

Romance can be so damn heavy.

D

It's frustrating. Just forget it.

I've heard broken promises.

I've seen enough promiscuous.

Saw through all the lies

Once bitten, twice shy.

That is why,

I try my best, and try again,

To make everyone see how,

Fairytales are only fantasies.

I love only me.

what to do? what to do? i so wanna let out something but i don't know what it is. perhaps i should just go to bed and get ready for tomorrow morning at school. yeah, that's what i will do. that's what i should do. okay. babbye.

i can't stop myself from going back to Windows Live Messenger (MSN) and checking on his msn personal message. ever since he started to online a few days ago, i've checked on his personal message for around thirty times.