have just realized how nice SHINee's voices sound. and they don't sound weird singing English.

image-googling them now.

oh my gosh.

finally found 简志桦 on Facebook! :D

well, actually he found me. he added me, and i guess that counts for something:

HE REMEMBERS ME!!!

haha, he was so nice. funny, cute, and i'm not saying these because i want him to sound good: he really is THAT funny, THAT cute.

he sat beside me in primary school, and though i can't really say we're very close, spending that much time with someone will sooner or later get you attached to him/her.

that's fact for me.

just to let you guys know how crazy we were before:

i've put stinky, worn socks in my mouth before for him.

I need a kick drum,
a guitar now,
and a bass line,
and imma show you how,

how to rock
how to dance
how to get down,
and all i need is a piano in my track now

throw your hands
throw your hands
throw your hands
throw your hands up
(whoa ohoh, whoa ohoh)

cause you can't
cause you can't
cause you can't
cause you can't stop
(whoa ohoh, whoa ohoh)

Can you hear me (hey)
do you feel it (hey)
If you with me (oh)
1-2-3

Cause we're here and we're now and we're all together
So let's make this last forever

Of all the stars are in the skies at night
you got to ask one thing to shine quite as bright

- Mitchel Musso 'last forever'

Everything's going wrong. A boy walks in the rain, trying to figure out why his life's so miserable right now.

He doesn't know where he is, what he's supposed to be doing. He doesn't know who he is.

He sees a falling star, and immediately he wishes. How much he wishes to be like one of them, the people who always seemed perfect. He isn't. He's a loser.

Life's difficult.

The sun begins to set, and the rain doesn't stop. For once, he feels that the sky is exceptionally darker. He began to wonder what his future would be.

Then his bestfriend comes.

She puts a piece of tissue to his eyes, and wipes off something wet. His tears. He had not notice that he was crying until now.

His blurred vision clears, and, seeing the smile on his bestfriend's face, he remembers.

Life's meant to be difficult, so that they can grow.

The girl speaks.

She remembers, she says, how the boy had once told her that she was special. Those words she always keeps in her heart, to keep her going through the harsh times. Everytime she feels like breaking down, she replays what he'd said, and everything will be fine.

She asks him, if he still remembers how he'd wiped off all her tears and comforted her when she was lonely. That's why she's here right now, to replay the scene and repay him for all that he's done for her before.

Replay.

He's her Most Valuable Player in her life; her bestfriend. They don't need anyone else, just each other's enough.

She knows. She knows how others talk behind his back, and call him different. But that is why she loves him all the more.

She tells him to forget about the perfect people, and the perfect lives they live; the masks that they put on are not as real as the boy himself.

They say that the boy's dreams will never come to pass. He's only imagining. But the girl knows better. She knows what he's able to achieve, how big his potential is. He is definitely not imagining things.

It's alright.

- story behing rerewrite of lyrics to Replay.

..........

Just as everything went wrong.

The rain is falling and you can't help, but feel so lost.

Wishing on a falling star,

Wished you could be who they are.

A single thorn in a thousand roses.

Life can be so hard.

The sun sets; the sky's so dark.

You begin wondering, "what's to become of me?"

But boy, I'll wipe off all your tears, so that you can clearly see, this is how life's meant to be.

And we'll only grow.

Yes, I still remember.

How you told me I was special.

Words that I replay, replay, baby.

Do you still remember?

How you wiped off all of my tears?

So right now, that scene would replay, replay, replay.

You know you're my MVP.

And each other's all we need.

They say you're different, and for that, do you know how much i love you?

It's alright.

Forget about what they do.

Their facades just ain't as true.

Trust me, you're not just imagining.

-"replay" original lyrics by SHINee; rewrite by Lisa; rerewrite by Meia.

Nana has LOVELY voice. I heard her recording on her digital camera, and at first I thought she'd recorded it off her computer or something. Macam Whitney Houston punya suara ooohhh. Just saying.

:D

I rewrote the lyrics because I didn't like it being too romantic, but in the end also it's about romance. :(

in that short time span i just couldn't come up with something good enough. oh well, at least it's not ALL romance. at least there's still a bit in it inspirational, about how you should be yourself, and how this guy who once helped this girl, now that he's in trouble, the girl's helping him back. Hence the scene 'replays'. :D

might post new lyrics here later. now gotta go English Literature (Elite) class. cya guys!!

GO TO SLEEP NOW CARMELIA YONG.

>:(

for those few seconds (by meia)

rush me off the cliff

adrenaline speeding

robbed me of my breath

and now i'm falling

cold air sharp as knives

papercutting me.

this is how i live.

I wake up in a cold room, but my blankets are warm. Bunny is squashed under my arms. I hug him tightly, snuggling myself deeper into the blankets before remembering the sunrise. The sunrise's always beautiful. I quickly get up, splash cold water on my face and start brushing.

In minutes I'm done, quickly going down the stairs of the five floor apartment. I wear a long sleeved, gray shirt, with a jeans skirt, and black shoes. A large Nikon camera hangs around my neck. I'm putting on my black backpack.

Jumping the last few steps, I look around at the empty streets. There are not many cars around, and I see a few cyclists. Some of them have big baskets behind them.

The sun's not up yet, but almost. I walk towards the local bakery. Delicious, fresh aromas reach my senses as I draw closer. After buying myself some buns, I much on them while walking along the river, on the pavement. The morning mist is still there, and I watch the sun rise in the cold.

Fast forward to the afternoon. I'd spent the morning at Lee's, working on a new project that the local art gallery wanted us to do. It is hard work, and Lee finally allows us to go on a short break.

My colleagues go for lunch; I head to the library. Books. The librarian's a cranky woman, but today I smile at her, again, and to my surprise, she smiles back.

Back to work. We finish at six, and call it a day. I head to the city square.

Lights everywhere. The air's cold. People crowding. I spend the night people-watching in a popular cafe famous for its coffee break atmosphere. Everything seems to be in a shade of warm brown and yellow. My iPod plays classical, instrumental, pop, dance, jazz...

Deazen and Michael spots me, and comes over. I immediately grin in natural response to the jokes these two are going to say. They spend about half an hour with me, and as they joke and laugh, other people come over, and by the time Deazen and Michael left, there are five other people at my table, chatting. I sip my chocolate, listening to them talk.

At nine I start to go home, but not before I drop by Melissa's house. Rowena lives there too; they share the rent. Daphne lives nearby, in an apartment, like me. Nana lives in the university campus, which is closed at eleven every night.

It's an Art Institution that Daphne and Nana attend. Daphne's obtaining a degree in photography; Nana in graphic designing. Nana also part-times at the local art center where I work, producing book covers, t-shirt designs, posters, bookmarks ect.

Next to the Institution, further away, is a Music Academy. They are related; the Music Academy is on a smaller scale, a sister institution of the Art Institution. It's small, but exclusive, and Terence studies there as well. He is already a senior there; he enrolled a year before the others did.

Melissa and Rowena go to the Music Academy too, on scholarships. Melissa's doing a major in guitar, and Rowena in vocal.

They all live in the same neighborhood, and I'm the only one that lives a bit further away, other than Stanely and Pearl, who study in a medical university in the next town. They always come down to stay with us during the weekends.

I go home after an hour, start my laptop, and wrote my diary and story until eleven. Then I take a shower, and go to bed. The air is cold, my bed's warm, and I love my life.

been pigging out recently. @__@ there goes my diet.

and my nose hurts. >.<'' from the flu that just won't go away since last week.

I should start sleeping early. or at least not in the mornings.

spot the honest typo:

misi STKK

menjana modal insane bertaraf dunia melalui pendidikan berkualiti berteraskan Falsafah Pendidikan Kebangsaan.

today was a good day.

spent English class yelling and sweating like a waterfall, watching KKHS versus Tshung Tsin (basketball tournament).

i think i'm a few shades darker. :( yer.

and we lost by around twenty points. haha.

but we still love you, basketball champs~ :D you did your best!!

then during additional mathematics (last period), the teacher looked straight at me, and i looked away, and she said to the class,

"There are SOME of you who have not passed up your homework since January. You don't do your homework, and you end up not being able to answer the questions. I'm going to give you one more chance to pass up by next week. If i don't get it, I'm going to write a letter to the PK HEM and PK satu. Or I will call your parents, and also write the letter to Cikgu Ooi. Don't think that this is funny ah (i was smiling)."

If I don't smile and look serious, she'll think I'm pissed off.

If I just ignore her and do my work, she'll think I'm purposedly doing a show of ignoring her because I'm pissed off.

If I cry, people gonn think I seek attention, and she'll think I'm a cry-baby, and I'll really get pissed off.

I smiled, she thinks that I think that it's a funny matter.

The reason why I put off all the homework that I have that has anything to do with numbers (Chemistry, Additional Maths and Maths) is because I don't feel like copying. I wanna do through all the work myself and learn at the same time.

But since this will take me a very long time (and a long attention span as well), it took me a long time to actually start catching up on my number-related-homework.

I have absolutely no problem with non-number-related homework, such as Bio notes (started already and doing well), History notes (nice and clean), and Chinese. But since it's 'next week or Puan Teo gets a call from her colleague', I guess i'll just have to copy from a friend's.

Thing is, no one whom i feel comfortable borrowing addmath exercise books from has completed their work. :(

but at least they did January's homework.

I don't think i even have an Additional Maths exercise book. WTH.

everyone macam depressed this. :S

this one got problem, that one got problem, this one not feeling well (emotionally), that one not feeling well (mentally).

and most people not feeling well physically.

i hope everyone gets better... maybe something big's going to happen.

a conversation.

do you need to be appreciated to be a friend?

what do you mean?

will you only be a friend to someone if that someone appreciated you?

don't friends appreciate each other?

what if a friend doesn't appreciate you? do you stop being a friend?

what do you mean, appreciate?

maybe by thanking you, maybe by supporting you... you know. appreciate. make you feel that what you do did not go to waste.

friends would appreciate each other in the first place, otherwise they would not have been friends.

people do change...

i don't know. how about you?

don't know, that's why i asked you.

to be a friend you'd have to appreciate people, i guess.

yeah, but that's for you to be a friend. i'm talking about if that other person doesn't appreciate you, would you still be that person's friend? should you?

well... no? since that person doesn't appreciate you, then that person's not your friend, then.

he might not be my friend but should i be his?

is there a difference?

yes.

it does hurt, being friends with someone who doesn't appreciate you... majorly.

... be friends but not be that close?

that's hard. what if you have to spend a lot of time with that person? you can't help but be close.

is there even an answer to your question?

maybe.

would you still be my friend even if i don't appreciate the things you do for me?

well, yeah.

why?

... because... i do things for you... not because i want you to appreciate me. that'd be... well, a strange friendship. a rather selfish one. right?

haha, thanks.

what for?

for answering my question.

wanna blog also cannot. :(

my mum shouldn't view blogging as a 'happy fun-time full of fun with no educational value whatsoever'.

i wanna be a freaking writer when i grow up, man...

Today's English class topic:

Pick an interesting ambition (future occupation) of yours, and state three reasons why you found it interesting.

It was good to see my classmates (usually silent as rocks during English lessons) talk about their ambitions, although when it came to the explanation, they explained WHY they chose that ambition, not WHY they found it interesting.

But frankly speaking, it's a tough question to answer. People usually choose their jobs based on other factors, such as passion, stability and income, and not based on how interesting the jobs can be.

My future ambition was to become a writer. I don't know about the teacher thing, that's just a very likely possibility, since it's very achievable and stable. I might not be a teacher. But a writer, well, that's something I can be with or without a degree in writing, yes? You just gotta know the right people (agents) to get to the right people (publishers).

What I find interesting about being a writer?

1. it's probably the only thing i don't suck at

If you're successful, your publisher sponsors you on trips and researches, for you to get information and/or inspiration for your books. Which means I get to experience new things (things that are probably chosen by myself, since i'm the writer) and gain more knowledge (on things that I choose, since i'm the writer)

For instance, I'm writing a fiction with a basketball tournament background. Basically, I get to go to basketball tournaments to scope out what really happens, probably talk to basketballers or their coaches, or fans, ect. If I'm a really famous and expensive writer, who knows, I might end up watching NBA live. :D

Interesting, don't you think?

2. i am heavily loaded with teenage angst and hormonal emotions which need to be vented out as non-violently as possible, thus, writing

Fans.

Do you guys have any idea how interesting fans can be? Especially if they are YOUR fans.

First off, they'll send you fan-mail, and it isn't in every occupation that you get people telling you how awesome and fabulous you are.

Secondly, forums. It isn't in every occupation that you get people discussing in online forums about how character #2 should've kissed character #5 in chapter #6 of the 2nd book in the something series by Carmelia Yong. Speculations abound. That's, in my personal opinion, VERY interesting.

Thirdly, fanfic and fanart. Fans will write their own fiction based on your story, your world, your characters. Fans will draw pictures of your characters, make blog layouts out of them, make display pictures, icons, banners, ect. Maybe even a website dedicated to some of your more popular characters, even. O__O WOW. How cool is THAT. Very interesting. :D

3. revenge

Coming up with plots and stories, that's interesting enough for me. :D

out sick today @__@

flu (ACHOOOO!! even though i'm sweating like bbq chicken)

cough (from singing too much in choir? ahaha)

headache (minor but i'm sure it'll get worse in school, especially during math and addmath, like it did yesterday)

body aches (i'm fine with the first three but THIS one convinced me that i shouldn't go to school today. eyes kept watering like a leaking pipe)

but what was most irritating is how i have to face my mum's skepticism and sarcasm. i don't know whether she really cares, and only shows it in a limited way, or she's being sarcastic.

Gone are the days when you fall ill and your mum will prop you up in the bed, tell you to rest well, and give you a hug.

I asked her timidly, "Are you angry? (that i'm going to miss school today because i'm sick)"

She said, "Don't ask me that question!!! I'll get angrier!."

T___T so sad.

I was sorta frustrated so i got myself ready to go to school no matter WHAT.

I was prepared to stick myself in the corner, bundled up in my mum's denim jacket, and ignore everything else outside and snooze my time through school.

Mum was insistent that I stay at home. :(

I was defiant but then again i realized that i'll just suffer more if i go to school.

well. there's just nothing to blog about anymore. :S i wonder why. what did i use to blog about anyway?? everything went BLANK.

maybe i'm starting to get the habit of onlining, then getting away from the computer to do other stuff. you can't do THAT with blogging. at least, I can't.

can't wait for next year. free of SPM. :) hello STPM.

today was an 'okay' day. :)

i'm not very happy today. but at the same time, i'm not unhappy. everything will turn out alright.

of all the themes we got to choose from, i chose interior designing. i was considering t-shirt design (nana's one) and poster (the 'easy' one) but i chose interior designing.

i don't know for sure why, but i don't think i regret it. :D

those are some of the cool stuff i found for my project. nice kan?? :D we have to design a home theater room, complete with the model.

taking up ART for SPM wasn't the fun that i thought it'd be.

yes, i had expected the discipline that was needed, the amount of time that I will need to put in, the effort, the sacrifices...

all for something that i love doing.

but now, no more.

not when this 'art' is giving me nightmares.

not when this 'art' is making me feel all stifled and smothered.

not when this 'art' is 'art' through other people's eyes, other people's judgement.

not when this 'art' that is tailored according to a couple of government officials' taste and likings.

not when this 'art' has guidelines to this, this, that, that, you have to use this, you must measure this according to this, you cannot use that...

it's becoming as numbers to me.

yes, i do realize that we need to learn, with discipline, the proper techniques, the best way to do this and that.

but we're not learning these.

instead, we're measuring drawing papers, drawing loads and loads of lines with rulers, trying to photocopy a piece of photo with art materials on it by drawing it out, colouring it, and then fail miserably because we don't know how to, and printing photos, collecting materials, recording references and website URLS and magazine names and issues...

frankly speaking i don't care if i can file a project properly or design a theater room according to the 'latest fashion'.

i want to learn how to use water color, the techniques involved, crayons, oil pastels, the different mediums, how to create certain effects...

I WANT TO LEARN ART.

NOT HOW TO TURN ART INTO A 'MARKETABLE SKILL'!!!

T__T but i guess i'll just have to live through this. what i want i don't always get.

feel like barfing now. so much gas in my abdomen. it's probably because i leaned over to sleep on my desk just now, at school. got my internal organs all cramped up and now they're ganging up against me.

like everyone else la bah.

okay, i'm being unfair. everyone is not ganging up on me.

Keele definitely isn't. yesterday, during math, he was forcing me to finish my math homework. i tried to sleep but he poked me again and again, and taught me.

wonder of wonders, he actually managed to poke some math sense into my stupid brain. and we i had fun at the same time, aggravating him with my stupidness.

nana isn't. i'm beginning to feel like i'm spending all my time with her. asides the fact that i sit beside her, both of us dropps physics, both of us took art.

when you spend so much time with someone, you see things that others don't.

and when you see things that others don't, misunderstandings lessen. the true self is revealed.

and the friendship strengthens.

i've had major experiences in my life that made me believe how important time is in building a friendship. vice versa, less time spent, equals not-going-anywhere.

in fact, i'm having one of those experiences right now.

i really feel like vomitting. chao~

i got this from Neville's Blog

truly lah, he's, so far, my most favorite blog writer. i just like the way he uses words.

On the legendary mountain of Mt. Thanatos, there, in the heart of said mountain where the snow rains down without relent and the blistering cold that follows takes the lives of poor unsuspecting men without forgiveness, a mythical artifact heard only through rumors and gossips of paranoid, delusional and/or schizophrenic townspeople is forged.

A story goes that the item in question can only be created and properly handled by 3 men of over several centuries old. They joined forces one fateful evening in creating something so powerful, that a taste of it's power could grant it's wielder ultimate pleasure. Remaining sleepless for more than a year, the 3 men finally completed their perfect work.

The item appears to have a quite counterproductive nature. It both gives, and takes life. Provides pleasures and pain. Is either loved, or hated. Thus is the fate of something so powerful.

Their creation, however, proved too valuable, and attracted envious eyes from all across the nation and world. Kings have come, seeking usage of the item, but alas, the men were inclined to decline their offer, as a creation with power of such caliber could prove fatal in the wrong hands.

The three men were chased from one end of the world to another without relent. A fair price had been put on their heads by kings and aristocrats of all the world, all of them hoping to gain the ultimate pleasure that the item provides. Finally, the item's strength was depleting, and the only safe place to hide it was deep within Mt. Thanatos, where no man could possibly enter without risking death.

The fate of the men that had entered the mountain remains a mystery till now, but even today, men still speak of the item that nearly tore the world apart...the legendary double chocolate and vanilla fudge strawberry ice cream.

:D done. SPM counter at the bottom of my blog now!

:D

but i don't know if it'll serve my purpose of reminding me of SPM... since it's like, waaay down there...

anyway. ahem.

i should be studying or doing my homework right now. i don't believe there's anyone else in FORM FIVE who has the amount of homework that i have to catch up with.

so, tata. i'll try to force myself to study.

"now i'm of consenting age,

to be forgetting you in a cabaret...

dignified peach and lime daiquiri...

praying for love, paying in naivety"

- p!atd

six months till SPM. more or less.

i should get a count-down for my blog. remind me what i should be doing instead of my best, favorite thing to do in the world (such a sin... T__T)

be right back. (or not, if my mum finds out i'm online)

ow going out for a movie with my fad' ,ayescH) but still, dad's rarely around. :)chao pele. po ...os GRRRA( looh rof ydaer teg dna moh ta ts rehtar tiekil leef tno i . ylimn (: !!reggolb ???o giog s'tahw .siht teg t'nod i .gnikorw ton llits .pon ..niaga siht yrt s'tel

kaniuut ioitusla )daer t'nac ,aedi on ?thgir tht lleps i did( .mgehp fop tib atj .lufniap t'nsi tsael ta tub ,won llew oot gnileef t'nsi tarht ym ,llew ...toba gnihtyna od t'nac i ecnis ,thgirlao ...ees s'tel D: ...f eb nac siht ebyam O__O !!!sdrowkcab lla tuo gnimoc s'gnihtyreve !!!ylreporp ss drow epyt t'nac ???ereh gneppah s'tahw ,yo ???wolleh

FINALLY FINISHED EDITING BLOG LAYOUT!!

:D so happy.

credit at the bottom of the page.

and now, to bed. *snore snore*

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme

debate... was not such a bust after all... :) my initial reasons to join debate (choice made last wednesday) were firstly, i did not want to go for class. i felt fed up at the time. just wanted to get away from class. secondly, i wanted the cetificate.

that was before things got radical.

they wanted affirmative. they sent me, saying all sorts of stuff like i'm their lucky charm, you know, funny things lah. under normal circumstances i would have protested and laughed but i wasn't in the mood to laugh. (duh?)

i drew the lots, and got opposition. the other girl from Tun Fuad was like, HAPPY.

she said to her teamates: "I TOLD you we'll get affirmative! *laugh chuckle grin smile whatever-else-expression-of-happiness*"

i must say here that i don't really get what i want. :) 'bad luck' in a way (not that i believe in luck. God is not luck.) so next time... don't depend on my 'lucky charmness' haha.

we were up against Tun Fuad in the first qualifying round. all the speakers were gentlemen, cheerful, confident, but most of all, friendly.they came over to talk before the match, for a bit, and smiled, smiled.

smiled some more.

i didn't really talk much. i'm naturally an introvert. besides that, i wanted to look confident, since i realy did not want them to think that i'm scared, thus, attack me. i'm the third speaker, a vunerable position to be in.

also, i was a bit nervous.

oh, yes, a bit ONLY bah.

a bit only.

ok, who am i kidding.

i think they (tun fuad guys) were, ahem, quite fond of melissa. especially Jamson. (details not included here. melissa will stick her pencil into my forehead)

but still, they were good, although they said they'd try not to be fierce (which also, i think, is on melissa's account).

okay, well, the term 'good' here is subjective. in my opinion, they were fierce, intimidated us, and VERY confident.

which is what i only wish i can say for us as well.

anyway, we won. i did not expect this, but i was not very surprised because we worked like bulls getting ready for this topic our substance (isi kandungan/ points) were, rather, better than theirs. There were other, well, factors also why we won. I can't really explain here.

But they were good. They were confident, and their Style and Strategy, I'm very sure, kicked ours right out the window. Their second speaker, i think, got Best Speaker award. Jamson?

Tun Fuad people were actualy helping us with this by giving us their points. Thanks. :)

After that it was all congratulations, you did good, and so on, and we went down to eat, then at around 11.45am we started getting ready for the next topic, although we didn't really do much until quarantine at 1pm.

WELL. Melissa drew the lots next, and we got Opposition. according to Nana, it's good because we have a lot of points for this. At first we though our opponents would be from St. Francis. I was like,

doomed.

Then I heard Sanzac.

It was actualy Smack, or something like that. SMK Agama Kota Kinabalu.

If Tun Fuad had butt-kicking Style and Strategy, THESE agama students had SUPER head-bashing butt-kicking stomach-punching Style. They were straght up confident, lean-mean machines. Or, at least the second and third speakers. The first speaker was a sweet girl. :)

I didn't think much of them (at least they're not St. Francis or Lok Yuk or All Saints, right?) but later on Puan Teo told me that they were an elite school. No wonder lahh... they really do seem like elite students. They were GOOD.

But for some unknown reasons, we won.

O___O

OKay guys, I'm not kidding, this time we were already talking about going home, and how nice to have the certificates, and stuff like that. We were so sure we'd lost. Our supporters (Daphne, Stanely, Rowena, Parvisher, Divya, Douglas, his friend) were all acting like retards, holding hands and making small mexican waves to cheer us up. (i think. the real reason they acted like that? i do not know.)

the only indication we'd won was how much our chairperson student smiled and smiled. He also chaired the qualifying roung we had against Tun Fuad.

When the results were announced...

Our supporters and Melissa and Nana screamed so loud the adjudicators nearest to us, a man, covered his ears. I immediately leaned back down as far as i could in my chair, but i couldn't stop grinning and said

"what the heck what the heck..."

but the adjudicators were all smiling. Best Speaker award went to the third speaker of our opponents, Syazwani. Gosh she was superb man, she got my knees shaking!

well, they made a big fuss over it, melissa was calling up people to tell them we'd won, everyone acting as though we'd actually won the debate competition. thanking the adjudicators and stuff. (not a proper thing to do lah, i know.)

but i guess, since KKHS was always considered weak in these English competitions, getting thus far was a big deal. :)

one thing about this quater-final was that we had to go through the battle during a very, very heavy downpour. Nana had to SHOUT. We couldn't listen properly to the opponents, had to try very hard. I knew I couldn't shout like Nana so I stood closer to the adjudicators by going up front.

well... we went home, and had to start immediately, preparing the next topic (semifinals) because we totally did NOTHING for this topic. we never thought we'd go this far.

but in the end, our preparations were not enough for us to overcome Lok Yuk.

yes, people.

of all the other three schools, namely All Saints, Lok Yuk and SMK Kolombong,

we had to get

LOK YUK.

On the plus side, it's very good we didn't get All Saints. Or else.

doomed.

BUT I'd rather we got Kolombong. I don't know why, i mean, i guess i shouldn't be underestimating schools. but Lok Yuk is the defending champion. as i said.

doomed.

our preparation for semi-finals was...

weak. very WEAK.

We had our stands and main points, but because this was a more high-level topic (the success of a nation is measured by its economy) it was very hard to sort the ideas out. our research was not done, we did not have enough facts, so it was up to our logic thinking and power of persuasion to win.

we could not depend on our substance, like we did for the first two battles.

we only printed our very feeble speeches this morning.

we only prepared cue-cards in the quarantine room.

we were tired, sick,

and because the toilet couldn't be used, me and nana had to go all the way to the surau, and came back to find the judges waiting. horrible.

in short, i can safely say we lost because of BAD preparation.

We got affirmative for this. A sudden change, since we were oppositions in the last two battles.

our blunders, especially mine, were too horrible. I can't bring myself to describe them in detail.

All I can say is, Lok Yuk had a nice time BASHING us up (yes, BASH).

They commented on where Melissa and Nana stood, why we didn't POI, our mistakes (as if they weren't obvious enough already...), our flaws, how melissa wasted time on this on that, how we don't have a stand...

doomed.

okay, to be honest, we'd still have a chance to win, although it's very, very tiny (because i didn't have enough time and presence of mind to bring out our points strongly in mel and nana's speeches; debate is all about the words you use and how well you can bring our your stand. our stand was clear for the first two battles. this round, though, it was all blurred up...).

but we still had a chance.

until Melia the confused, disco-dancing madgirl came up.

doomed.

I was confused.

Too horrible to describe in detail.

In a nutshell, I actually made the WORST MISTAKE EVER in debate. i feel like puking. it was a wonder why i didn't burst out crying then. the mistake was so big. i knew, for sure, that we'd lost.

DOOMED.

so i threw my cue cards on the table (which some people said was impressive, but seriously.) and started jabbering about whatever my weakened consciousness could grab hold of.

all i remember seeing now is the timekeepers' minute cards, limiting the time that i had to repair my damage...

all i remember hearing is Vincent Soh, the second rival speaker, scoffing and snorting. ...

and the ugly, disco-dancing monkey in the middle, saying sorry to the adjudicators for a mistake that will haunt her...

i so HUMILIATED myself. gosh. this time, we were SURE we'd lost. there was absolutely NO WAY of us winning. We started talking and laughing and discussing about "later on".

I was relieved. I can finally sleep nicely.

But it'd be nice if we had lost minus the humiliation i had bequeathed myself and KKHS.

T___T

Vincent came over. He forgot me and Melissa T__T so sad. but he was really nice, we talked for quite some time.

The First Speaker, Akmal, got the Best Speaker Award. I thought it'd be Vincent, but my judgement is weak because i didn't really pay attention to them.

During their last speech (reply speech) while Vincent was BASHING us up and looking our way, i only looked up at him while writing our reply speech, and smiled.

I heard chuckles from the audience, but i felt very pathetic inside.

They were attacking us like monkeys on bananas, and yet all i could do was SMILE after my horrible mistakes.

But one thing nice I noticed was our previous opponents,

SMK Agama KK

, came back to watch us today.

And you know what? They gave us applause! Not those weak ones, but LOUD ones, even though I sucked so BAD.

Lok Yuk didn't get anything more than single claps from their teacher, although they were GOOD.

I so thank them, our previous opponents from SMAKK. :)

you guys made it not so bad.

so... yeah, that's it. i have to go now, i still feel rather weak. :) chao.