finally, finally, the drama is over.

Literally. i'm now in Kiren's house, since no one is at home now except my dog, Coffee...

relaxing on her easy chair and typing. nice computer.

i wanna get a laptop... haha. :D

the keyboard is on my lap now, haha. nice, nice.

daphne came just now to watch the short drama thingy. :D

miss the others lah.

they're now talking about self-defense mechanism.

basically Praveen's self-defense mechanism is cruel sarcasm (i started this, lol) and Faith's is to zone out by having deep thoughts and ignoring you.

Berto's also by being sarcastic.

Kiren's sarcasm is funny sarcasm. (she says) and Faith says she's only sarcastic to her mum. Shaniel is Kiren's sarcasm target, haha.

Tasha, they said, didn't have a defense mechanism.

Kononnya lah, if they want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, then ask Jinho.

oh no, some heavy story coming out. :/ God bless you all!! mwah, lovyall.

Have a blessed Christmas, everyone. :) cheers!!

insideout magazine: online article (disclaimer: i did not write this!!)

God’s Word under Attack

11/1/2007

Author: Daryle Williams

This assault on the Word of God has not ceased; the Scriptures continue to be aggressively attacked from two sides.

Have you ever considered the fact that the Word of God was attacked in the very first conversation recorded in Scripture? Adam and Eve had only one law to obey: “Don’t eat from that tree!” It seems so simple, yet the initial verses of Genesis 3 record that Satan undermined God’s motive in an effort to persuade Adam and Eve to violate the one and only holy law.

This assault on the Word of God has not ceased; the Scriptures continue to be aggressively attacked from two sides. First, there are the obvious ones on the outside who avidly oppose the Word of God and seek to end to its very existence. Second, and far more dangerous, are those who claim to believe God yet deliberately denigrate His Word in an effort to minimize its importance.

The first group, the outsiders if you will, is very obvious in its action against Scripture. Generally, they use “scientific facts” as a platform from which to launch their criticisms. However, this arrogance is unfounded because their “platform” is itself unstable, given that today half of what was considered to be a “known fact” five years ago has been proven false and replaced by new theories.

Please understand, I do believe in the study of science and think that we should pursue understanding. But science is just that: a study of how things work. Given that all scientists are fallible humans, it is inevitable that there are going to be some mistakes. For example, on July 19, 2007, two Associated Press articles, one by Randolph E. Schmid and the other by Jeanna Bryner, detailed discrepancies between supposed known facts and recent discoveries.

Conversely, the Bible has been proven accurate in all of its scientific mentions. For example, Genesis 1:11 says, “And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so.” In this one verse Moses cataloged the earth’s structure of plants. Today, four thousand years removed, botanists still divide plants into the same three categories; acotyledons (grass or the seedless plants), monocotyledons (seed-bearing plants), and dicotylidons (fruit bearing plants). At first glance, accuracy in detailing plant structure would not seem so important. But it is just that inerrancy (the state of not being wrong AT ALL) in every detail is a must if it is truly a divine book. This Word is first and foremost a handbook on building a relationship between divinity and humanity, but it also has proven accurate in its statements concerning science, history, economics, and other innumerable subjects.

The second group of Bible bashers is a far more subtle bunch. They are wolves in sheep’s clothing who approach the Word of God as though they are believers. Yet at the same time, via dubious questioning, they sow seeds of doubt. They appear concerned and sincere, but their agenda is to diminish the value of the Word.

For example, consider an article written by Protestant Pastor Oliver “Buzz” Thomas for the USA Today newspaper entitled “When Religion Loses Its Credibility.” Supposedly, the purpose of the article is to help the church graciously admit error in its teachings against homosexuality. The premise of his argument is that we should not absolutely adhere to Paul’s writings concerning homosexuality for two reasons:

medical science will soon prove that this sexual orientation is genetic,

and Jesus never mentioned homosexuality.

First, concerning the scientific aspect, no credible medical science exists to validate the theory that homosexuality is genetic, yet Thomas bases his argument on what he expects scientists to discover. That goes against the most basic principle of the scientific method.

Second, concerning Thomas’s complaint that Jesus never mentioned homosexuality, there are a lot of other things besides homosexuality that Jesus did not speak about. If we were to apply Thomas’s logic to all of those subjects, we could ignore all of them as well. But this would be wrong, for Jesus considered the entire Old Testament (the only Scripture there was at the time) to be the inspired Word of God. Many times He referred to Old Testament authors as prophets. In fact, Jesus said the Old Testament prophets began with Abel and continued until Zechariah, which covers the entire Old Covenant period. As God’s fleshly manifestation, Jesus’ view of the Old Testament is the correct view. Also, concerning the New Testament, Jesus promised that His apostles would be reminded of His teachings and that they would be preserved from error. Therefore, the entire Bible is the inspired Word of God, and we cannot, as Thomas suggests, ignore any of it.

It is clear the adversaries of the Word want to destroy it, and the underlying reason for their attack is that they want to liberate themselves to live as they please. In his letter to the Romans Paul states, “Where no law is, there is no transgression” (Romans 4:15). In other words, if there is no absolutely true Word of God, then there is no sin. If there is no sin, then there is also no wrath and we are free to pursue hedonism. The Bible, however, is so much more than a book of laws … it is a gracious guide to our salvation.

For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book: and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book. He which testifieth these things saith, Surely I come quickly. Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus (Revelation 22:18-20).

Yes, the Word of God has withstood vicious attack, not only in the modern era, but throughout the ages. But I for one am confident that it will endure untainted and emerge victorious when heaven and earth have passed away!

i'm just kinda... :)

hey, just want to make things clear here, aite? :)

like what Kiren says,

i don't believe in being owned by a church institution.

When people ask me which church i'm from, i find it difficult to answer. People generally think that, oh, this church is famous for this, this church is famous for that...

:( what lah.

Christians who already belong to church institutions of course feel that where they are now is the best. Otherwise why are they there, right?

Well, yeah, that's true. You only stay with where you think is the best place for you. :)

someone once told me (and still is reminding me) that the best way to be Christian is to follow God. Obviously, yeah?

But how? Through the only thing that does not belong to this group of people or that denomination- the Word of God.

Fair enough. Every Christian denomination is guided by the Word of God.

But it's up to every individual to

diligently seek after it, study the bible, find out what the scriptures say

rather than just take what leaders spoon feed you.

the pastors and preachers are not responsible for your eternal life. you are.

this sounds very 'churchy', i know. :) so 'holy' and 'preacher' type...

but hey, the Muslims are truly living for what they believe in...

Why aren't Christians?

you know the totally kembang feeling you get when you feel that someone likes you? and not just anyone, but someone who's actually cute and rather popular?

tell me you know that feeling, because i feel really bad about myself having those feelings. i just wanna know if that's normal... :)

after the awesomest life camp, i've decided not to do any notes and writing down plannings.

like, there were camps that i went to, and after that i did notes on how my life should be different... resolutions...

i pity the ink and paper that i used lah. i so wasted them. :(

so this time, no. no planning. i'm just going to go ahead and do it practically instead of as theory now. read more bible, pray more, fast more, and really live it for eternity. (life)

it's just kinda sad how clueless most Christians can be... how the greatest thing that can ever happen to them is just a sincere prayer away, but they never reach it.

instead, they moan and chase after things that would vanish like vapour...

i don't blame them, they've probably seen Christians that would be better off something else. so Christians who are really living it for God should shine more.

that would not be hard to focus on, since Christians are supposed to be different and separated from the rest of the world anyway (says so in bible)

we live in the world, but we're not of the world.

i'm really regretting cutting my hair now. no, no one pressued me on this. i had always known what the scriptures in Corinthians said about hair. everyone has different opinion, and honestly lah, very ma fan to have long hair. but the scriptures say what they say, so what to do? :)

i am not learned enough to study the matter so deeply yet, so meantime i should just listen to my spiritual leaders. :)

and anyway, it'd be really cool to have long, flowing hair.. i miss my hair very much. sobs.

going out to get new spectacles and probably proper sports shoes.

i don't really feel good now, i'm letting some people down and some people are letting me down.

down, down, down, and we all go DOWN...

i can feel God floating beneath me like a buoy, keeping me from sinking into the depressing water. :) Thanks.

1. Do you have secrets?
; Yeap, but I guess less than ten.

2. Would you fall in love with a girl/ boy younger than you?
; Haha, not probable but possible. :)

3. Do you enjoy going to college?
; I think I would.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
; Donate, spend F&F, build retreat centers, build myself a jamming room.

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
; Well... Considering that if a guy could ever really be my BEST friend (except Jesus) , of course. We'd have a lot of things in common, feel comfortable with each other, otherwise why best friend? So yeah, very probable.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone, or being loved by someone?
; In Christian context, loving someone. The more you give, the more you receive from God (TRUE!!). In human context, hmm... Of course being loved by someone. :)

7. List 5 recently watched movies.
; Errr..
; errrrmm..
; Ah.....!
; BOLT!!
; Hurm........

8. If the person you secretly liked is already attached, what would you do?
; How attached? Married, or engaged, or really attached then I'll go pray and fast for one month a day then gao dim sai.

9. List 5 favourite TV shows.
; Kids Next Door.
; Spongebob Square Pants.
; My Wife and Kids. (sobs, no more)
; That's So Raven
; Err...

10. Do you have any regrets?
; Yes, duh.

11. How would you see yourself in 10 years time?
; 26? Blissfully married with three-year-old twins and doing the work of God everywhere and anyway I can. Of course, probably end-times happening already. Might be hiding out somewhere.

12. Who are the most important people to you?
; God, friends and family.

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
; No one tagged me. :D

14. Would you rather be single and rich, or married but poor?
; Single and rich.

15.What is your favourite colour?
; Black.

16. Would you give all in a relationship?
; Yeah.

17. First five words that popped into your mind right now.
; What the argh don't want.

18. What are the top five places on your "to-go"list?
; China.
; New York.
; Alexandria.
; Penang.
; Paris.

19. Name three things you would like to do, but would not be able to?
; Own all chocolate factories in the world. Own Macbook. Stop being a Christian because it's so difficult sometimes. :)

What time is it now: 4.31PM

RANDOM
Q: Is there a person who is on your mind right now: Nope. So sudden, haha.

Q: Do you have any siblings: Yeap, a frog prince and an athlete. Oh, and Brownie the sad, botak lion with chiken drumsticks for hindlegs (coffee)
Q: Do you want children: Yes!! Pray that God gives me identical twin boys.
Q: Do you smile often: Well... Sometimes I go on a smiling spree. :)
Q: Do you like your hand-writing: (OMO Daphne's handwriting ROCKS!!) mine ah... sometimes, when i put a lot of effort and use a lot of rulers. :D
Q: Are your toenails painted: Painted with the natural color of pinkish, dirty brown by God. :D With a rough, rugged surface as finish.

Q: Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in: O__O no difference to me.
Q: What color shirt are you wearing: Red. I don't usually wear red, I don't like wearing it.
Q: What were you doing at 7:00pm yesterday: Airplane Air Asia.
Q: I can't wait to: Start the other Daphne/Nana's survey.
Q: When did you cry last: Urm... Friday night, at TJ camp.
Q: Are you a friendly person: I am but not iniciatively.

Q: Do you have any pets: Yup. I think his hindlegs mutated into furry drumsticks...
Q: Where is the person you have feelings for right now: Ui, banyak ni!! Resentful feelings, happy feelings, appreciative feelings... :)
Q: Did the last person you held hands with you mean anything to you now?: Yeap. :) Everyone has a life.
Q: Do you sleep with the TV on?: Rarely.
Q: Who was the last person you cried in front of?: Many people... AT camp... :)
Q: How many people can you say you've really loved?: A lot! :D They've been so good to me larh... I mean, usually no feelings but when i think about it, very warm, fuzzy filling. XD

Q: Do you eat healthy?: NO.
Q: Do you still have pictures of you & your ex?: Yeah. :) So funny, haha.
Q: Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you?: Of course!!
Q: How often do you go to temple?: God's temple, got... Quite often. :)
Q: If you're having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to?: My blog, which usually means Daphne, Nana, Melissa... Those usual people who read my blog. :)
Q: Are you loud or quiet most of the time?: Quiet.

Q: Are you confident?: Depends.
Q: What are you doing right now?: Blogging. :)
Q: Have you ever crawled through a window?: Yeap. Classroom window.
Q: Can you handle the truth?: Sooner or later, yeah. :) I mean, the truth can set us free. Just the matter of whether I want it to or not.
Q: Are you closer to your mother or father?: Definitely mother.

Things you did 10 years ago: Breathe, laugh, kick other people's tummys, cry, read, cry summore... :P
Things on your to-do list tomorrow: Church, practice...

5 snacks I enjoy:
1. Asam Laksa.
2. Laksa.
3. Tom Yam.
4. Chocolate covered marshmallows.
5. Daim chocolates.

5 things I would do if I was a billionaire:
1. Build Christian retreat centres like El Sanctuary. So NICE lah...!
2. Give away all my clothes and buy some good, new ones. And wear them for as long as possible.
3. Build myself a jamming room and equip it with many different types of musical instruments.
4. Donate, donate, donate.
5. Bring my friends to life camp, all expenses paid, then go KL and Melaka with them and spend them what they really want. XD

5 places I have lived in:
1. KK, Taman Seri Kepayan, number... Forgot.
2. KK, Taman Seri Kepayan, number 23.
3. Taman Orchid, KK.
4. Sipitang?
5. No where else lah.

5 jobs I've had:
1. Class monitor
2. Prefect.
3. Big sister.
4. Multimedia coordinator. (man, i suck at this)
5. Friend.

Ending time: 4.47PM

my husband-to-be must be a big fan of hygiene. not to the point of obsession, but just enough to keep up with me.

i've kinda freaked out some of my fellow vacationers.

"NO SHOES INSIDE HOTEL ROOM!!! :( :( :("

"No food on the bed PLEASE..."

"No worn clothes on the bed please..."

Especially the shoes part.

SO imagine me living permanently with someone who's gonna shoe himself all over the carpet/floor, throw tissues everywhere in the washroom, shave and leave the sink looking as though it sprouted hair as well, eating on the bed that we're gonna share, snot wherever he wants...-

uh-uh, no way. :(

i'll cry i tell you.desperately.

yeah, i guess i expect a lot from my future partner (if God wills that i get hitched anyway) so in return i'll change myself to accommodate what he wants as well.

there's NO, not EVER such a thing as

'the wife's in charge of the house chores and the cooking, as well as the children's discipline and homework.

if i'm earning money for the family as well, which is rather obvious since i'm not going to be a sit-at-home housewife, then he's gonna have to do the dishes, load the washing machine, wash the garage and mop the floor as well.

Oh, i'll very happily take full charge of the dogs. :D and also look after the children's discipline.

note: not children. children's DISCIPLINE.

in my family now, my mother's the one headaching over our school work, tidiness, stuff like that while my father scores brownie points by bringing us out, wasting money on games and toy.

no, that is not going to happen to me. :(

oh, and of course he must be a true Christian and place God before me. if he is, then I guess everything else is taken care of. :D

i can sense some negative energy.

Daphne, you okay kah? O___O hope you're fine.

T__T i'm sorry if i did anything to offend you... haihz... I know i'm a real jerk/fake sometimes... Soweee........

and THANKS for commenting on Chapter One. XD I already wrote until Chapter Four actually, but I need to retrace them and do some changes.

this one was drawn in the later books. not really as nice as the earlier books; sometimes the eyes cacat. maybe they changed artists? can you see the insignia on his collar bone? that's the sign of the most powerful assassins.

there are currently seven, and all of them don't know who each others are.(says so in the book) i guess there are some more assassin guilds out there.

brown paper was scanned from my comics. the white ones i got from internet. LOVE his hair... strawberry cut. :D :D in colored version, they're black with a blue glow. Dark blue eyes.

his armor. after he got new clothes, they seem 2D, but when he's about to fight, they protude like bones and skeletal wires shoot out from the shoulder protectors to form claws at his hands. These claws can grow long.

But Loki's main powers are pure energy forces ; no magic, no chants, just pure energy that keeps the universe together.

his assassin cloak. very arabian style; all the assassin had arabian style clothes, which is really cool.

after that he got new clothes, Chinese style, which are soooo nice as well... :D

aiyah, he looks good in anything. XD

You don't run with the crowd
You go your own way
You don't play after dark
You light up my day
Got your own kind of style
That sets you apart
Baby, that's why you captured my heart

I know sometimes you feel like you don't fit in
And this world doesn't know

what you have within
When I look at you, I see something rare
A rose that can grow anywhere

And there's no one I know that can compare

What makes you different,

makes you beautiful
What's there inside you,

shines through to me
In your eyes I see,

all the love I'll ever need
You're all I need, oh girl

What makes you different, makes you beautiful to me

Hey, yeah yeah yeah
You got something so real
You touched me so deep
You see material things
Don't matter to me
So come as you are
You've got nothing to prove
You've won me with all that you do
And I wanna take this chance to say to you

lemme present the earliest Manga character that I had interest in: LOKI the assassin!!

SCREAMMMM

SWOOOOONN

FAIIIIINNNNTT

DROOOOOLLL

i couldn't sleep recently at night, mainly because my biological clock (not the pregnancy one) is kinda sot.

anyway, i had this really, really painful thing going on with the joints of my feet. (i'm growing taller!! XD but very painfuuuu T__T)

so i took out my comic bag, dusted it, and started rereading the

Ragnarok series by Myung Jin-Lee.

(synopsis might be faulty; the malay subtitles in the series i have are lousy :( )

There was a war, and the god Balder and goddess Fenris were killed but they did not die because Balder's mother gave her life to a dragon Nidhog so that they can be reborn.

So, Balder is reborn as Chaos but he does not remember anything. He lived in a village, until it was destroyed by the village's chief's first daughter, Sara Irine, a powerful priest who stole the family's heirlooms. She wanted revenge for her mother's murder when she was younger. For some reason, her father had killed her mother, and Sara would've died too but she managed to escape. Now, she's back for revenge.

The chief's second daughter, Iris Irine, was his second wife's child. She's rather vain and very in love with Chaos (who has no comment, heheh), and inherited the family's powers and stuff like that. She and Chaos were the only survivors i the attack made by Sara; somehow Chaos managed to save them.

Along with them was Fenris, now a very powerful wizard girl thing. She's really cool, very kind, focused, serious... except when it came to Chaos. She's in love with him too. :) Chaos has no comment.

Anyway, the important part is: LOKI!! He comes from an Assassin guild. Returning one day from a mission, he found his guild destroyed, and there were clues there that said Chaos did the damage (he was framed) so Loki went off to seek revenge (revenge again) but when he found Chaos, Chaos was denying it, and something else about Naga Satria thingy (subtitles... sighs) so somehow Loki didn't kill him, but followed him on his journey and stuff.

The very frustrating thing is, now Loki's meeting this Governor's guard, Julie Lucy, who is setaraf Loki (which is saying something, because Loki is very, very powerful) and has swords that had the mark of the assassins.

BUT THEY STOPPED THE SERIES!!!!!!!!!!!! T__T until the tenth only!! no more..... yerr..... leave us hanging liddat..... Loki MIGHT like Fenris, because there was a scene were he saved her from falling, and the artist made it look so ROMANTIC!! Fenris: *shocked* Lo... Loki?

Loki: *closeup* What are you waiting for? Get up.

*picture of their hands holding together*

Fenris: *closeup* speechless....

Got some fan club for them as a couple on the internet, haha, even got a fanfic, but that's all the Ragnarok that I can get on the net. :(

Loki's this silent type guy, and after Chaos cut him (in their first meeting/ battle) for the second time, everyone thought he'd die but suddenly he was in front of Chaos and was saying wonderingly, "no one has ever managed to wound me twice."

SO FOOOOOOOOOOOON

then another thing is Chaos gave him two boxes of tapau to take care of, and somehow they got separated and Loki had to fight this archer and a huge monster and stuff, but he was still carrying the tapau. When his comrade (a girl thief who's madly in love with him) asked him why, he was, "It's my responsibility."

*vomits blood* BWAHHAHAHAHA LOKI's MINNNEEEEE!!!

I'm suspecting that, because he was described by Chaos' mother as 'a human who is not', Loki's also a reborn god. Loki in mythology is a half-giant, half-god who's very mischievous. He's sometimes very evil, but at other times, when he's good, the other gods like having him as a comrade because Loki's very powerful.

I'm so XD

hikaru and kaoru.

nana's boy ^ ^

flyer for youth revival thing. it's much clearer than this, though.

malas nak adjust blogger.

memories? ew.

haha, felt good. i had the chat i needed. thanks, nev. his responses were quite neutral, but at the same time, he didn't sound like he didn't care. also, he knew the people who were involved, so i didn't feel like i'm talking uselessly.

her msn personal message now is: so happy!!! .... for something like clothes.

i'd think maybe her boyfriend proposed to her or something. I'd like if that happened. maybe it did, i don't know. they'd never let me know because probably they don't wanna hurt my feelings, something goody like that.

no, i don't regret him. i don't think i ever would, or else i'd be regretting six years of intelligence. it's okay if you don't understand. i don't think i do.

i rarely think about him now, but i do, at least once every day. without any visible feelings, though. more pensively than miserably. like, "i was form two at the time. what mature level of handling romances did you think i had?"

i cried twice, for him. once was after watching titanic. i got so scared about him dying that something got stuck in my throat. =S no tears came out, but my eyeballs were wet. so naive. then there was once i found some pictures of him with another girl, and I was like, the end of the world. :(

so i guess i can't blame the younger ones when they get so caught up in their puppy loves. what is puppy love to me, might mean the world to them, just like when i was younger. dressing up to go for a walk just because his house is nearby, or totally scramble my mind up when i see him and pelt away like a donkey.

malu oh, talking about this. but i feel like it, so why not? he was just so sweet, so sweet that i started to sicken myself, the way i absorbed him like sponge in syrup. like heaven. i know better now.

sometimes, i really become so proud and cold, unfriendly, even. i suspect this, suspect that, until people say i'm anti-social. but even though sometimes i hate it, i thank God that i'm so socially handicapped, because this way, i protect myself from more sweetness. i only want the best for myself. is that so wrong?

someone said that people who type their 'I's in small letter don't have time to press the 'shift' button because they're too busy typing about themselves.

no comment. this is probably the best time of the day for me. at night, sitting at the computer, typing and blogging away. i don't want too many people to read this, i'd feel uncomfortable and have to watch what i type. i know that only three or four people will read this, and that's really enough, i'm content.

either i want to write my story, or write a new song. (which after i will throw away because very ugly)

thanks for acting like you cared, thanks for bringing me up so high and letting go,

the ground doesn't attach itself to me, you know.

down i fall,

down, down, down, i go.

i don't know what to do,

all i've learnt

is how to crash and burn.

yeah, crash and burn like a piece of art, it's art, isn't it?

the art of being melodramatic.

cry until my tears dry up,

even though there's nothing to cry about.

because who do you think you are?

deep down, i care nothing for you,

except for the fun and smiles, but that's through.

like someone once said, you can love everyone,

but there are some people that you can never like.

i need someone to talk to,

someone to help me think things through, but the person that came first into my mind, nah, impossible, he's going to misunderstand and think that I'm in love with him or something. My bestfriends are busy, and there are some things that they can't do, like be relaxed while i pour myself out. I want my bestfriends to feel what I'm going through, but now I don't want them to, but I know that they will, because they're my bestfriends, they love me (so kembang this), so it's better to find a stranger, than a bestfriend.

i'm not hurt, frankly, i'm not.

i just feel somewhat angry at what you've done.

yeah, it's our fault, yeah, it's my fault. but at least i did what i was supposed to afterwards and now it's your turn. don't bail on that.

when you smile while hiding your hurt,

then don't let the hurt show afterwards and blame that on us.

i care, yes, but that doesn't mean,

i'll go all out to make you happy.

but there are other people who will, other people with hearts of gold, and those other people who so deeply cares for you, yeah, you tore them down, so now are you happy?

i don't know who i'm talking to right now, honestly speaking, i'm talking to a lot of different people in this random rant,

but if you terasa as you read this, and thought that I was talking about you,

then think about it, maybe someone else thinks the same thing about you too.

i feel like chatting with someone right now, but i don't know who. i just want a free, relaxed chat with someone who won't be bothered. someone just called me, crying, and i guess it was my fault. someone else is crying as well, but that one i don't dare to call because... i might make things worse. i'm not a good comforter.

moral of the story: call before you leap.

three name that friends call you.
; Melia
; Carmelia
; Cammy (this one recently. i didn't like it at first, but then it sounded quite catchy :)

three most important dates in your life.
; 1 January (new year, new life)
; 31 December
; March 6th

three things you've done in the last 33 minutes.
; Get stressed out. :(
; Received a distress call.
; Drink milk with honey.

three ways to be happy.
; Online.
; Write my story.
; Erhm... Online?

three of your favourite songs as of now.
; Beautiful Soul by Jesse McCartney
; Light Up The Sky by YellowCard
; Crowned with Many Crowns- Paul Wilbur

three of your favourite hobby.
; Online.
; Watch SpongeBob and Fairly Odd Parents.
; Read.

three places you want to go for vacation.
; China.
; America, Alexandria.
; America, New York.

three favourite cartoon/anime characters.
; Loki, from Ragnarok (Manga).
; KAORU HITACHIIN from Ouran Host Club.
; Numbuh Four from KND.

three malls you usually go to.
; Centre Point.
; Warisan Square.
; Central. (count kah?)

three favourite drinks.
; Sky Juice.
; Milk with honey.
; Chinese Teh.

three things found in your bag.
; Pencil Bag.
; iPod.
; Piano Exam Practical Book. (my teacher say don't wanna let me take exam next year... Not good enough... :()

three favourite colors.
; Black.
; Green.
; Dusty blue.

top three hang outs.
; Church...
; Central?
; Secret Recipe.

top three foods you love so much.
; Chocolates!
; Laksa!
; Maggi Goreng andidon'tcarethatit'snotgoodforme!!

top three things / persons special to you.
; Jesus.
; My bestfriends.
; My family.

top three attitudes you like.
; Loyalty.
; Sincerity.
; Kindness.

three things you will be doing tomorrow.
; Sleep until 11am.
; Practice piano.
; Wonder why my life turned out like this.

three reasons you answer this survey.
; Looks fun. :D Questions are nice.
; Nothing better to do.
; I need to find myself.

three people that you tagged.
; Nana? :) Pearl and Melissa!!

You know why I made a schedule for all practices for the christmas play this week? because:

1. Everyone involved can either clear off their other activities to come for practice (haha, as if. the play's not as important as other stuff lah...),

or

inform me earlier that they can't come, so that I can make arrangements and postpone practice, so that other people, those who came, their time won't be wasted by coming and not having anything done because some fella's MIA (Sorry Beto. You came so early almost daily but nothing was done until very much later)

2. Everyone can make decisions together. So that there will not be anyone practicing the same stuff as another person, and when FINALLY come together to practice, I have to choose between the two people.(and drama will ensue)

3. So that we get everything done, because everyone's here and anything planned to be done can actually BE DONE. (we're so totally behind schedule now. i wanna scream)

Very sadly, all of the above was not achieved, even though the schedule was made.

I guess it was my fault as directing stage manager for not calling everyone involved and make sure that they come.

All I did was make a draft schedule, confirm with them, make a schedule, and SMS them on the days that they were supposed to come.

I should've done what Jinho did when he was in charge last year. Call everyone, and make sure that they come by spending at least five minutes on the phone with them.

Too bad that I don't practically live in the church, have full personal access to the office phone, have a registered line, and a personality that just shines and charms everyone so that I don't get grumbled at so much. Or else I could've done that.

Heck LAH, I don't even call my best friends and talk on the phone for three minutes. I don't even CALL my mum or dad, I just SMS them or misscall even when it's something important.

I'm very, very sorry Rina. :(

Even though I know you'll never read this, but I'm seriously sorry. I should've checked who was the one singing, instead of asking Joni to sing when you didn't show up, because you were busy at tuition. Not your fault, I know. Kesian Tasha also lah, she feels bad about it.

Sighs. I'm so stupid sometimes. Let me go sleep in the toilet tonight. I don't deserve a bed.

SS maniac.

Some stuff that I feel like doing but not probably possible:

1. Draw graffiti on the walls inside the nostrils on the highway near my house.

2. Camwhore.

3. Make personal music videos with favorite songs with friends, either stupid or serious.

4. Jam session with friends.

5. Write songs and record.

6. Smile and greet strangers at Segama, and then at Warisan Square with a bunch of other crazy friends. And see what the reactions are.

7. Meet soulmate at bookstore.

8. Crash a party with friends while wearing costumes and disguises. Throw socks at everyone and call ourselves the socks lollipop or Maggi chicken socks.

9. Get new spectacles.(okay, this one's possible)

10. Runaway to an abandoned warehouse and live there for a week with friends.

11. Jam at club at night and get paid RM 100 per song.

12. Fall in love with a handsomedashingsuavekindgenerousfaststrongspeedytotally hot vampire and get him to fall in love with me by looking innocent and misunderstood by society and at the same time show myself to be a totally normal human so the love can never be and turn this tragic love story into a blockbuster movie which publicizes the vampire that I'm in love with and get every other female human in the world to fall in love with him as well.

13. Stuff Edward Cullen with garlic.Take pictures. Make a parody out of it.

14. Write miserable songs about jealousy and what it does to Carmelia Yong.

15. Strut into the sex shop "I Need House" in Times Square, KL, and select stuff worth RM 500. Then, before I hand her the money, tell her that I'm under eighteen. "Oops? Then cannot even come in le worh? Sorry yah."

16. Stick huge, florescent notices outside the shop that says: Under Eighteen, instead of a totally oblivious silhouette of a woman holding a kid by hand. What's that supposed to mean, No PDA Allowed?

17. Online for three days three nights straight with totally functional, smooth working speakers, webcam, printer, CPU and monitor, and without nagging, disturbances, interuptions, and "THOOOOONGGGGG!!! Jiu Dian LIAAAAOOOOO!!!"

18. Go for dance lessons.

19. Be official photographer of a major cosplay event in KK.

20. Bake mango pie for Stanely. He's been waiting long enough.

21. Never grow old. Wait, I need a vampire for that.

22. Makeover an incredibly out-dated, unfashionable, geeky electronics weirdo and turn him into a hot, dashing, mysteriously intelligent gentleman. And sell him for dates on e-Bay or Facebook. (hey, he owes me)

23. Find out about a world-wide disaster thaat's going to happen tomorrow, try to tell authorities but get kicked aside, and team up with a scientist, a police-officer and a teenage thief to save the world before bedtime. Nicely decline publicities after majorly incredible success and retreat to a quiet mansion in a forest with ten dogs and four hamsters.

24. Become Mrs. Key.

25. Kidnap all those fools who had laughed at and/or insulted me before (those that I haven't graciously forgiven yet, of course), store them inside abandoned warehouse, wow them with my awesomeness while showing videos on how majorly uncool they are, and leave them hanging.

26. See a psychiatrist to treat malfunctioning humility gauge inside brain.

27. Be Melissa's personal photographer when she becomes an international model for Gucci/Guess/Chanel.

28. Be Daphne's appretice when she becomes an international photographer for all red-carpet events and Jason Statham's personal agent.

29. Slap myself repeatedly, ten times.

30. Join Psychos Anonymous.

31. Hack into Nana's blog when she becomes world-famous blogger with popular blog that everyone, from the Queen of England, to SHINee, reads daily like local newspaper. And post pictures of potatos and watermelons.

32. Become president of Psychos Anonymous.

33. Go motorbike riding with Jeffrey at night, take some pictures and demand RM 200 allowance. Go home before curfew at 11pm.

34. Be Wen's manager for her wedding. Turn it into the wedding of the century, featured in international magazines like Vogue and Times. Then sue all of them for invasion of privacy.

35. Read Aubrey's mind and obtain his sweet 6teen wishlist.

36. Go to Ka Howe's nformal, non-disastrous, typical found-everywhere wedding. Go home sweating, thanking God profusely that I'm not the bride.

37. I'm serious.

38. Graduate from High School single.

39. Whack everyone who calls me 'thong thong' with a french breadstick. One made out of ten tons of plaster of paris.

40. Go into Sunway's Scream Park again. Adhere to the appropriately named title and scream like nobody's business while laughing maniacly. Then go in again, but this time while screaming out the national anthem and rukun negara.

41. Explain to Scream Park's superintendent calmly while in the office that being boringly patriotic calms me down.

42. Get someone else to do xmas play.

43. Get help.

you thought,

'you're not yourself and i'm not the same'

and you stopped looking, once again

you kinda broke me.

the deed's done but I go overtime,

to search my heart and free your mind,

love works hard but not found (the answer)

it feels right but blinded (a fake)

i had just seen the trailer for Twilight on youtube.

yeah, Edward Cullen's HOT HOT HOT and the story scenes are so super COOL!!!

oh, yeah, not joking.

but the thing is, kinda lame lah. :(

I mean, i haven't watched it yet but still, the movie plot doesn't really...

A friend of mine watched it, and he said he didn't like it. I guess it's because he's a guy, but then there you go. guys don't really enjoy chick flick, which is what Twilight is. a CHICK FLICK with some gimmick vampire stuff in it.

It's a very awesome love story, but don't go expecting a serious action-packed, true, vampire movie. The vampire-element is only there to spice things up. It's not really a fantasy movie.

I'm not planning to watch it because I know I'd get addicted to it. :( I'm a sucker for love stories.

not feeling very happy right now, but things will better themselves sooner or later. :)

i've just realized... am I really that fierce when I'm stressed out? XS

Sorry, yeah, if I've ever screamed or did anything horrible to you. i forget myself when i get stressed out, particularly when i have to do something but can't do it because of something which is not because of me.

Sowee...

gah, i feel like i've just wasted the best parts of my holidays: the free, November parts.

i should start my studying,

and then there's the board game thing to do for Cikgu Mariam,

which brings me to 'should i take Arts for SPM?'

not to mention English Literature, I've got to get the novel 'Holes' and the drama 'An Inspector Calls' but they don't seem to have it in Malaysia. Then there are six poems to memorize before I start my Lite tuitions.

Oh, I'm dropping Bible Knowledge. It stresses me out. I know that I've actually targetted fifteen subjects (so naive) but I've dropped all of them extras, because I had no idea how active I was going to be in co-curiculum.

Then there's the drama script for next year's inter-school drama competition, which I really really hope to WIN WIN WIN do my best in. It's my last year!! I don't think Form Six students can participate in that. :(

Oh, that reminds me. There's this rumor that Form Six might be separated from High Schools. You know, turned into those pre-uni institutions. If that happens, then forget about me going into Form Six. The only main reason I'm planning to Form Six myself is because I want to get involve with as much high school activities as I can. Otherwise, might as well aim for Uni.

I really, really want to join debate next year, and I'm prepared to drop Public Speaking and Spelling Bee for that. But Cikgu Krishna had already brought me to this year's Public Speaking Competition, expecting me to pick up some pointers and join next year's competition. Cikgu Elizabeth wants me to join the Upper Form Spelling Bee. Both not because I'm talented, or because I have a chance at winning (please lah). It's because NO ONE ELSE WANTS TO DO IT, DARN.

So I guess I"ll have to say bye-bye to Kelab Kebudayaan. T___T Dancing's one of the things that I really, really wanna do, but Kelab Kebudayaan is very, very high maintainence. Practices everyday, no time to breathe, even.

And one of the biggest stress+vomit+headache inducing targets for next year is the Marching Competition. Red Team had gotten second place for four years in a row. FOUR YEARS!!! ARGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And PRS Kebangsaan? And the school concert? And my dream of publishing my novel?

My SPM is doomed. (because of me lah.)

if when i get my laptop...

1. I'll download all the fun fonts that I want into it.

2. Everything will be stored in an orderly, neat manner.

3. I'll install maximum two fun games, probably Sims, or Nancy Drew, or a fantasy RPG.

4. There will be a plastic sheet covering the keyboard. No touchy.

5. password locked. it's gonna be a very, very, very long password.

6. I'll create a guest account, so that anyone who borrows my laptop can access it without having to remember or write down the very, very, very long password.

7. I'll personalize it by putting some removable stickers that are going to cost a lot, and draw on them (all i want is the removable stickiness).

8. I'm going to install the photoshop thing that Qay gave me. I'm saving the 'virgin' CD for my new laptop. *wicked laugh*

9. i'm going to sew my name on the laptop bag.

10. i'll go nuts trying to remember all the cool shortcuts and computer tricks. i mean, i got a laptop!! it gotta get the best from me.

it's kinda interesting, those pictures where the girls looks cute and do cute poses. it gets me wondering how they really look like. because i've taken pictures like that before and they did not look like me. :) they (the picture me) look much prettier than me (the real me)

so probably, those girls acting cute don't look that cute. probably lah, okay? some girls look good wherever.

***********************************************************************************

mum got an offer to be a lecturer at Amminuddin Baki university thingy (it's not a uni, actually, but then what else to call it?)

she'll get a digi 48 post where her pay will be that of a principal.

include allowances and such, and she'll have rm 7000++ a month, rm 3000 more than what she makes now.

YOU KNOW HOW MUCH RM 3000 IS???

Sophia definitely would not want to move to Pahang. She misses and loves her friends / best friends, just like any normal girl would.

Jerry would be like, whatever. His PSP is portable.

My father might have to tranfser to KL. No problem.

Me? 65% yes, why not? I'll miss a lot of friends here, no doubt, but, I don't know...

I don't have that clingy feeling. It'll be a whole new experience, and if I ever complain about it, well, let me. A whole new life...

Don't worry (as if anyone would), ngehaha. I'm not going anywhere. (yeah. gonna get stuck in Sabah until i die.)

crazy girl. :)

Eniar days... :)

this was one of my first creations, toying around with Ulead Express. it does have a hidden meaning to it. :)

i was planning to get this printed full sized for Nana's birthday, but tidak jadi. :(

ahh.... i have a few Anime crushes, and Kaoru's one of my majors.

XD so fan-girlish.

Neji- favorite Naruto character. :) i also don't mind Rock Lee now.

some pictures that are still surviving in my computer. :)