I can't sleep. There's City Run tomorrow, at 6.30am. Have to wake up at 5.40am. I better go to bed now but I don't think I can. I feel kinda disgusted.

So much to say but I can't say it here. I'll only end up deleting things and wishing I'd never posted them.

Am I such a good actress? And what the heck am I doing anyway? I'm supposed to be on an abstinence, until graduation.

Of all of them you had to set your heart on them. Why? You don't even know.

Love's not blind, dweeb. Unlike you.

Maybe it's a lesson. Next time you think about how painful it is before you do this to someone else.

It's not that painful. Not like I wanna suicide or cry. Okay, maybe I do want to cry. But just a bit. And I want to scream, and I'm a little pissed off at myself. I used to be so thick-hearted. What happened? What did they do? Why did they make me fall so hard?

Did I fall, even? I'm not even sure. A temporary feeling? I don't know. Like I said, I'm a stupid girl. I thought I was the strongest amongst my friends when it comes to these things.

Yeah, right. Look what happens now when you let your guard down? Go on, go play with fire. Go burn yourself. See, nice, black, painful burns to keep as souvenirs.

I hate this. I'll probably delete this post soon. See. I deleted most of it. I might delete the rest that you see here now.

Okay, stop focusing on the problem. What's the solution?

IGNORE THEM UNTIL MONDAY and if I'm still hurting AVOID THEM but if I accidentally see them JUST SMILE AS HAPPILY AS YOU CAN, WAVE AND SAY HI as though you're not about to burst into tears.

Simple.