i'm charging my iPod now (it's connected to the CPU) so i thought, why not go online for a while?

and Ares is not working. :(

this week was rather good, except for a few exceptionally LOW LOW LOW points in my mood.

not PMS.

i was sleeping late these few nights for various reasons (excuses much?), at around 12 midnight plus.

and since i'm already having sleeping problems (i think i have excessive sleepiness disorder or what), five hours and forty minutes of sleep every night make things worse.

i slept like there's no tomorrow (or no teacher) in class, and it hurt my abdomen, because when i lean forward like that (around ninety degrees loh...) my stomach gets crumpled and pressured inside.

the teachers were nice, they let me sleep without further questions. but if i continue like that...

anyway, i was tired and sleepy, and all i wanted to do was get home and sleep properly for one or two hours before going out again until night time. But guess what?

"What?"

Oh, nothing. Just that i found out I have tuition from 12.30pm to 2.30pm, and by 3.30pm i have to go out already.

happy!!! :D...

i don't know what i felt. angry? at who? sad? not really. frustrated? maybe.

all i know is that, as I look at the ADDITIONAL MATH questions (to hell with them) i felt this intense hatred towards math and add math and all thing involving numbers, equations, and ultimately SPM. (Saya Pergi Mati.) i felt like dropping everything except languages, art and literature. i felt like i wanted to throw things and smash stuff. but mostly i felt like crying, so i did, in the toilet.

some people (adults) scoff and say that I can't have time for 'zhen jing' (serious) things like studying and revision, but i can have time for blogging, chatting, drawing, writing novels, music, play, television, games...

seriously, who defines what is 'zhen jing' and what is not? i get SPM straight As, big whoop, i'm still going to be an Engilsh teacher, set up stage backdrops, maintain my own blog, play music, write a novel...

yes, of course i really want to get straight As, who doesn't? but that's me. if i study study study and get straight As, i'll still come back to Form Six because i'll have missed out so much on high school things.