memories? ew.

haha, felt good. i had the chat i needed. thanks, nev. his responses were quite neutral, but at the same time, he didn't sound like he didn't care. also, he knew the people who were involved, so i didn't feel like i'm talking uselessly.

her msn personal message now is: so happy!!! .... for something like clothes.

i'd think maybe her boyfriend proposed to her or something. I'd like if that happened. maybe it did, i don't know. they'd never let me know because probably they don't wanna hurt my feelings, something goody like that.

no, i don't regret him. i don't think i ever would, or else i'd be regretting six years of intelligence. it's okay if you don't understand. i don't think i do.

i rarely think about him now, but i do, at least once every day. without any visible feelings, though. more pensively than miserably. like, "i was form two at the time. what mature level of handling romances did you think i had?"

i cried twice, for him. once was after watching titanic. i got so scared about him dying that something got stuck in my throat. =S no tears came out, but my eyeballs were wet. so naive. then there was once i found some pictures of him with another girl, and I was like, the end of the world. :(

so i guess i can't blame the younger ones when they get so caught up in their puppy loves. what is puppy love to me, might mean the world to them, just like when i was younger. dressing up to go for a walk just because his house is nearby, or totally scramble my mind up when i see him and pelt away like a donkey.

malu oh, talking about this. but i feel like it, so why not? he was just so sweet, so sweet that i started to sicken myself, the way i absorbed him like sponge in syrup. like heaven. i know better now.

sometimes, i really become so proud and cold, unfriendly, even. i suspect this, suspect that, until people say i'm anti-social. but even though sometimes i hate it, i thank God that i'm so socially handicapped, because this way, i protect myself from more sweetness. i only want the best for myself. is that so wrong?

someone said that people who type their 'I's in small letter don't have time to press the 'shift' button because they're too busy typing about themselves.

no comment. this is probably the best time of the day for me. at night, sitting at the computer, typing and blogging away. i don't want too many people to read this, i'd feel uncomfortable and have to watch what i type. i know that only three or four people will read this, and that's really enough, i'm content.

either i want to write my story, or write a new song. (which after i will throw away because very ugly)